Embrace the Suck: Mental Health Lessons from Life’s Least Fun Moments
Let’s be honest, some days just really suck. Your coffee spills, your kid screams through nap time, your inbox is plotting against you, and your inner critic decides now is the perfect time to throw a party. Welcome to being human.
There’s a phrase borrowed from military culture that sums this up perfectly: ‘embrace the suck.’ Sounds a little aggressive, right? But hear me out, there’s a kind of gritty, no BS wisdom in it. Life is messy, uncomfortable, painful, and wildly inconvenient. And sometimes the healthiest thing we can do…is to stop pretending that it’s not.
So…What is “The Suck”?
It’s that pit in your stomach feeling when things don’t go as you planned for. It’s crying in your car after holding it together all day at work. It’s grief. Burnout. Awkward conversations. That weird limbo where you’re growing but everything still feels like chaos.
“Embracing the suck” means leaning into the discomfort instead of sprinting in the opposite direction. It’s choosing to face the hard stuff with your eyes wide open, even if you mascara is running and you’re holding a box of Cheez Itz as your emotional support snack.
Why Avoiding It Makes It Worse
Avoidance is sneaky. It tells you, “Just don’t think about it,” or “Let’s binge watch 12 hours of reality TV and call it healing” (No judgement, we’ve all been there.) But the more we dodge the discomfort, the bigger and bossier it becomes.
In therapy world talk- we call this experiential avoidance, pretty much trying to dodge uncomfortable thoughts or feelings. It works…until it doesn’t. Over time, it leads to anxiety, stress, burnout, or feeling like you are always on edge but not sure why.
By embracing the suck, we stop playing hide-and-seek with our mental health and start giving ourselves permission to feel what we need to feel. It’s leaning into the discomfort and treating it like a visitor, befriending it, letting it stay for a little bit while knowing that the visit will eventually end.
What Embracing It Actually Looks Like
Let’s make this real. Embracing the suck might look like:
Saying “Yep, this day is garbage,” AND still brushing your teeth and sending that one email you’ve been avoiding.
Letting yourself ugly cry in the shower instead of bottling it up for the next six weeks
Texting a friend, “Everything is hard and I need you to tell me I am not a complete disaster.”
Sitting in therapy and saying “I don’t even know where to start.” (Spoiler alert: That’s a start)
It’s not about being stoic or turning into a motivational poster. It’s about being real and real is powerful.
Hidden Gems in the Muck
Here’s the wild thing: when we stop fighting the hard stuff, it loses some of its power. And sometimes, underneath the suck, we find:
Resilience: You’ve made it through every bad day so far. That’s not nothing.
Self-respect: Showing up for yourself when everything feels hard is badass!
Clarity: Struggle tends to strip away the noise and show you what really matters.
Humor: Sometimes, all you can do is laugh and mutter, “Seriously? This too?”
One More Thing
Embracing the suck doesn’t mean doing it alone. It doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it. It just means letting yourself be honest about where you are and reaching out for support when you need it. That’s not weakness, that’s emotional fluency.
So next time life throws you a mess, try whispering to yourself “Alright, let’s embrace the suck.” Maybe with a side of sarcasm and a handful of chips. Either way, you are not failing- you are feeling, and that’s what mental health is all about.
Life can be a lot. But you? You are a lot too, in the best way. Show up messy. Show up real. Embrace the suck…and keep going. You got this!
Sarah Hodges, LMFT (CA, WA)